I have wanted to write about this for a long time, but do I really even have time to sit down at the computer? The answer- Rarely! I am always driving and I come up with something I should post, updates or pictures I have to post. Usually those ideas are the last thing on my to-do list.
Being a wife, mom, coach (and once a competitive athlete) has given me many perspectives. I have to emphasize this quite clearly, so I don’t get comments or responses as to why I think this way. What I am about to write is all my opinion and experiences. I have coached for the last 18 years, I have been a wife of a coach for the last 11 years and a mom for the last 8 (6 ½ of those my children have been involved in sports/activities). I think having all these perspectives has given me an opportunity to talk to people, especially parents about certain situations that are going on with their children. If you are not a wife, mother, coach or have never been an athlete, maybe you can learn a little about me.
I am going to list the top 10 (in no specific order) of 3 different perspectives
1. Observations from a wife of a coach
2. Observations as a parent
3. Observations as a coach
You will notice there may be some crossover in some of the top 10. Also, you may ask if these things REALLY have been done or asked to me...the answer is YES! In other words, I am writing this out of pure experience!
Observations from a wife of a coach (many other coaches wives would agree on the following)-
10. It makes us mad when you try to coach your child from the sideline. That is our husband’s job.
9. What you tell us, we will probably tell our husbands.
8. Even though the above is true-please know that we are still women and we love to have conversations with people.
7. We will fiercely defend our husband in which we feel he is being berated as a coach and especially as a person.
6. All the gifts and brown noising to us and our children won’t get your child more playing time. Although we love being thought of!
5. Most wives of coaches I know and myself included are there to support our husband-don’t ask why we are there. We are not necessarily cheering on your children, just our husbands.
4. Just because our husband is the coach-doesn’t me we necessarily believe in his coaching philosophy.
3. Please be cordial to us. We would love to get to know you since our husband spend the majority of their time with your child.
2. We love our husbands-that is why we are there supporting him. We don’t always like the sport.
1. In the end-this is not what our life as a family is all about. I would like him for some holidays!
Observations as a parent
10. Don’t brag. Being excited and celebrating is one thing, but bragging is another.
9. Don’t complain about sitting and watching-you signed him/her up.
8. Don’t gossip about other kids parents. You wouldn’t want people talking about you.
7. Be loving not critical. Love them enough to close your mouth and cheer for them even if they are not the best.
6. Know when your child has had enough and it’s just not “their thing.”
5. Be prepared to sit for a while (See #9). Bring something to entertain yourself.
4. Remember that you are the parent not the coach.
3. Don’t complain about the coach in front of me. I may be a coach and I know exactly how that feels.
2. Don’t compare and contrast. Every child is different!
1. Be your child’s biggest positive cheerleader!
Observations as a coach
10. If your child can’t drive and you have to take him/her to practice-be there on time.
9. Don’t coach from the sideline. That is my job. That is why they hired me.
8. If you have a problem or concern, come to me first. Going behind my back is childish.
7. Have your child prepared for whatever practice they are attending. That is if they are young enough not to prepare themselves. I.e. hair up, water, snack, etc.
6. Your child will probably not go to college on a full ride scholarship or to the Olympics. Don’t ask how I can get them there. I just take it day by day.
5. I am not their parent- I am their coach. Although, I always will integrate life lessons into coaching. Don’t ask me to keep an eye of them outside the gym.
4. Being consistent with a sport will improve them. If they want to improve, they will need to practice. Of course we want to have our children be well-rounded, but taking 6 weeks of class will not make them a superstar.
3. Encourage your child to keep an open mind and an open line of communication with their coach.
2. Being a good athlete not only happens in the gym. It takes a whole lot more-drive, dedication, determination, faith and good nutrition just to name a few.
1. I love to coach-not always do I like my athletes, but I will always try to get them to be the best they can be.
